Not Loving Me

Today I’m not loving me quite as much as I usually am. I feel unloved and I’m still depressed that I have to go to class tomorrow with drama on my mind. I lost my will power. I couldn’t help it. Driving back to school with nothing but time on my hands my thoughts started eating me alive. Yesterday night when I was out determined to have fun, it wasn’t a problem. Today it wasn’t quite as easy. I broke down…hard. I know all the other drivers on the road must have thought i was insane. I cried so hard. Then I got road rage horribly! I flipped this dude off and I was honking my horn at all the cars in front of me doing less than 100 in the fast lanes. I was so pissed off. I am still pissed off but my feelings are hurt. Deeply. Especially now that I know he’s going to be here next week and he hasn’t dropped me as much as one word. I wonder if it is really that easy for people to stop caring about someone they claim to love? I’ve never possessed that talent. I’m much too emotional. Even now I’m thinking about forgiving the “asshole of all assholes” just because of what old-girl said to me. While I wait for the gentleman of all gentlemen to get his act together i just PRAY that God keeps me together because i feel myself falling apart just at the thought of him or at the sound of his name. That’s all for now. I’m just venting.

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