Just a thought

After realizing how dangerous and completely overwhelming this bond I’m trying to break is, I also realize that on my path to freedom there are things that break my heart even worse than it needs to be broken. One of those things…any form of information or contact about what is new with him. I don’t WANNA KNOW! Period! Even if it is a matter of life and death, I don’t wanna know! I don’t wanna hear his name, about his new experiences, about his life. Nothing! All it does is shoot pangs to my heart. Yes I know I’m on the road to freedom and I’m on the road to healing, but i’m not there yet! I mean damn, its only been a few weeks. I gotta give God time to immerse me in His Spirit so that no other thoughts will consume me. People telling about what the ex is doing or not doing. Who he’s chillin with, who saw him where, THAT MESS DRIVES ME CRAZY!! Leave me alone! Just because I choose to vent online doesn’t mean that I need updates from the world. I mean why do you think I never use his name? Of course the people who know me will know him but at the same time, there are some people who don’t know and who don’t need to know. Precisely because I don’t want you feeling like you’re obligated to report his activities to me. YOU”RE NOT HELPING! And if you’re out to hurt me so you want me to know how well or horrible he’s doing now that we have no contact, go SCREW yourself! I am not gonna deal with you, God will! Anyways, i still have a 6 page engagement letter to write.

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