I Am Not God!

I expect a few simple things from my friends but above all else is unconditional loyalty, and only because that is what I give. What I don’t expect is for my friends to be my source and strength. That’s God’s job. So when the people in my life act like they are disappointed in the fact that I cannot meet all of their needs, emotionally or otherwise, I don’t feel bad that I disappointed them, I feel bewildered and eventually, apathetic. I don’t put anyone in the place of my God. When I’m down to my last dime, I know that God will provide a way. I  call in the debts people owe me, I look for odd jobs, I ask those I know are financially and emotionally able to help. But above all else I pray and expect my God to make a way for me. That way might be through someone I know, and it might be through what looks like a happy coincidence (such as finding money on the street). But when the people I know and love can’t provide what I need, I can’t necessarily take it out on them. It is my responsibility to have my best life right now, not anyone else’s. I expect my loved ones to provide me with emotional support above any other kind of support. That is what I need from them. But even when they fail in that regard, I know above all else that God provides me with more than any human being can ever give. Yes I might be hurt or lost for some time, but during those times is when I lean on my God even more heavily. So, it really it baffles me to no end when someone reacts angrily because I failed to meet their needs. I am HUMAN! I can’t provide you with everything you need at every point. Relationships, friendships, family members,colleagues – it doesn’t matter, nobody can be your source and your provider EXCEPT GOD! I am not GOD! I started my career exactly three months ago today. In that time period alone I have had more potential creditors than I have ever had in my life. My life is a delicate balance right now and it is only by the grace of God that I’m keeping it all together. I know this is the time for me to pay my dues so I don’t complain about all the things that seem to be piling up at the same time. I do what I got to do to get where I want to be. I know that if I do this right, in a few years, I will have something I can be tremendously proud of. With that said, I have a lot on my plate. I am turning to God at every instance because I already know the arm of flesh will fail me. Please do not expect me to add your burdens to mine. If I love you then I will do what I can to make your life better and easy and provide you with as much emotional support as you reach out for. But I cannot meet all of your needs. Only the Heavenly Father can do that. And yes, because I am human, I am not going to be the perfect daughter, girlfriend, associate, co-worker or friend, but guess what? Neither are you. So cut me slack, realize that I do my darnest to make my life look easy but it is far from it. And please, don’t lean too hard on me because I might crumple under the weight. Lean on God but I am definitely there to hold your hand. Peace and Blessings.

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