In My Own Mind

Sometimes I have to wonder about myself. Are all the things that seem too quirky to be coincidences just that? Are the lines of battle that I have drawn with certain individuals simply in my own mind? I have to wonder. Because it seems like no matter what the situation is, the people that I have decided are poison to my life always seem to gravitate towards each other. It’s insane!! People who shouldn’t even have anything in common – as soon as I decide that I am better off without them, they find each other! There is a part of me that believes that the only things these people have in common with each other is me and the fact that I don’t like them or want them anywhere in my life. In my mind I picture them gathering together just to discuss why they all hate me. It actually makes me laugh. It doesn’t disturb my peace in the least. A part of me enjoys thinking that someone is actually consumed by the thought of me, regardless of the fact that those thoughts are not of good things. I don’t care. A person (I can’t say friend b/c that would be a lie) once told me that if people are so unimportant, I should stop writing about them and making them important. Well, two things. One, as long as those people orbit around my life some kind of way, I have a right to express what is going on in my life. Two, me writing about you doesn’t make you important, it just makes you a temporary target for whatever feelings of irritation I hold at that point in time. Trust me, as soon as I get in on paper (or in this case, screen), you’re done and dismissed. Anyways, my ex-ex-ex-ex boyfriend (the @sshole of all @ssholes) and this random chick whom I have no respect for what so ever are now acting like they are cool. Which is funny to me because the the @sshole of all @ssholes talks so much junk about this girl to other people that people she has never met already have a label for her, and not a nice one either. I don’t deal with the girl. She’s damn near invisible to me. The only reason she crossed my mind is because the friends we have in common brought her up in conversation recently. So back to the premise of this post, in my mind, this chick and the ex are gathering together only because they both know that I do not like them. I feel like the sole purpose of them meeting up is to discuss my demise. I know, I know – very narcissistic of me. But I know it is just in my own mind. In reality – they probably care less about what is going on in my life and my world than I do about the both of them put together. And trust me, I don’t give two squirts πŸ™‚

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