Honestly

Honestly…it takes too much time to worry about every person I encounter in life. I can’t spend my entire existance worrying about why I can’t get along with one out of 100 people in my life. I just have to let it go. Our spirits simply do not mesh. No more no less. Honestly…the realization of how much I have to carry to achieve success scares the hell out of me. My grandfather started a tradition of wealth and influence and in their pursuit for a better life for me, my parents have made a lot of sacrifice. I can’t be content with being average because my family won’t let me. The realization that I can open doors for them won’t let me. Honestly, sometimes I just pray that I can be virtuous and single for the rest of my life because relationships are not easy. Falling so deep in love with someone then having others throwing shots at your happiness…it’s hard to take. It would be easy if it were coming from those who know nothing about you…but coming from loved ones? How do I shake that off? Honestly…honestly I just want to throw my hands up and say F IT, I’m out! But I can’t. Quitting now would be disastrous because I feel like I’m at the edge of my breakthrough and I can’t give up before I get my blessings. Honestly, honestly I wish I could stop caring about people once I start because some are simply not worth it. Yet and still I worry and I pray for their good because I can’t help it. I can’t help but reflect on better days. Honestly? Honestly I wish some people will find a better outlet for their delusions of grandeur instead of projecting it onto others and calling them haters. All criticism is not without basis, especially if you’re getting the same ones over and over again. A little self-evaluation never hurt anyone. Honestly? Honestly sometimes I am just sick of life and people.

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