I Resolve

I don’t believe in New Years resolutions. I do, however, believe in becoming a better person with the passing of time so I resolve to do a few things differently this year. I resolve to not take love for granted this year. To question it less and appreciate it more. Not to chase after it but let it catch me. Not to try to justify it or simplify it but take it for what it is. I resolve to spend less time in bitterness and anger. There is absolutely nothing I can do about my past. I can’t force people to stay in my life when they are resolved to letting me go. I can’t make people love or like me. I can’t change anyone’s mind or opinion about me and it is absolutely futile of me to keep trying. I resolve to stop treating everyone who is not a friend as if they are an enemy. Because I am so sensitive, it’s not hard to hurt my feelings and I know in times past when people have failed to take an interest in me when I was open to it, I’ve responded with hostility, mostly because of my insecurities. I resolve to be more gracious in everyday situations as well as tough ones. I’ve lost a lot of my humility and graciousness because I’ve had my kindness taken for weakness more times than I care to count, and sadly I’ve let that harden me. I don’t want to be this super-harsh human being; that is not who God created me to be. I want to be soft again. I resolve to deal openly and honestly with others. Because I am so non-confrontational when issues typically arise with others in my life, I talk around them instead of talking to them. I have to face my fears head-on from now on. I have to grow out of this cowardliness – after all, I belong to God; what can man do to me?

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