Called Out….It’s Lonely At the Center

2 Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. The verse fits so perfectly with my state of mind right now. Over the past few weeks and maybe even months, the distance has grown between me and pretty much everyone I once held dear to my heart. The last few weeks, I’ve found myself trying to get the closeness back. Trying to touch bases with everyone and maintain those relationships. But the intimacy was gone. Iย was a little disappointed and I didn’t quite understand why I was feeling so alone. Over the last 9 months, it seems like the closer I draw to God, the further away I draw from everyone else. Especially when the person seems to be traveling in a different direction than the one God is calling me to. I didn’t understand the loneliness but this verse is ministering to me. For years, I’ve been a part of the crowd, but the crowd was not building my faith in God, the crowd was not edifying to my spirit and the crowd did not challenge me to reach a new level in my walk with Christ. So, when I felt that call last year, I developed tunnel vision. I became engulfed and engrossed in the Cross and what Christ did on it. I was so focused on pouring out my life as an offering that I didn’t notice anyone or anything else. As I continued in my walk of faith, the fire went from an all-consuming fire to glowing ambers and I was once again able to pay attention to the things and the people around me. What I found was disappointing. In the time that I’ve been basking in the glow of God’s glory and presence, all the people I love have been chillin. They were still exactly where they were a year ago, some even further back. I had grown and they had stayed the same. The distance between us felt like lightyears. Trying to get that closeness back requires me to compromise to their level since they were not willing to come to mine. Trying to challenge them to answer the call to holiness bred resentment. It seemed the easiest way to go from being cherished to being completely despised is to tell the ones I love that God has a purpose for them that is MUCH bigger than the life they were currently living. Trust me, I tried a few times. Each time was worse than the last. At this point, I’m keeping my distance and praying for everyone. I can’t let anyone else’s unwillingness to change steal the joy and peace that God has so richly blessed me with. I wish I could do more. I wish there was a way to SHOW them exactly how much God loves them and how His heart breaks when they chose to satisfy the flesh instead of living according to His word. It’s been so hard for me too over the past month. I’ve been ebbing and flowing – going back and forth – in my relationship with God. I’ve been neglecting my quiet time and bible study at home when these were the very things God has used and is using to speak to me and minister me. But, every day I make the decision to live solely for Christ and to do whatever is possible to bring Him glory. And it seems that with each day that I make that decision, I get further and further away from the people I love. God called me out from among them, and now they absolutely do NOT get me.

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